Monday, 14 April 2008

I'm the pale one in the middle.


Moving to L.A. means a lot of things – Driving my hooptie through Compton, smokin’ dope with Snoop, looking at cops with shorts on – but nothing gets me more excited than the prospect of spending more time with my friends Posh ‘n Becks.

I better start getting in shape – because the two of them like to lead active lifestyles. It takes a lot of work & burns a lot of calories just to keep up with the shopping. Apparently, Posh has taken up an interest in American folk sports because she spends a lot of time on Rodeo Drive. I’m not sure if I need a new pair of cowboy boots just yet, and my Lasso is just fine, thank you! But I’ll give her a hand with her bucking shopping bags if she needs it.

Sunday, 13 April 2008

Limp-pede!


Limousin is known for its “boeuf”. It has more cows than people and the ratio of cow-to-field is MUCH larger than the ratio of teeth-to-local-Frenchperson.

At the Buddhist Meditation CentRE where I live, we don’t eat the local beef, of course. “Oh you crazy Buddhist vegetarians!” you may be thinking. But no – we don’t eat the beef because our budget requires that we stick to cheap, mass-produced stuff.

When I saw this injured, helpless, confused, and anxiety-stricken fellow sentient being limping down the road, I felt a surge of compassion. So I reached for my camera and made sure I captured it all on video!

Saturday, 12 April 2008

I'm getting fake tits!


Well, it seems like I will remain “Abroad” after all! That’s right, I’m moving to California! Next fall! It’s a small country that is located near Mexico. I have been studying about it on the internet and have learned some things:

1. California is filled with Rappers! The two main cities in California are Compton and the LBC.

2. The other main city in California is called Hollywood which is filled with beautiful gay people. They control the American government and subscription-cable channels. Thank God for that…

3. The main employment in California, besides Rapping and picking strawberries and then being kicked out of the country, is Porn. If you Google-Image-Search “California girls”, you’ll see what I mean.

Well that’s pretty much all I know about California at this point. As you faithful readers probably know by now, I’m up for adventure. At this rate, I’m not sure I’ll ever live in America again.