I know you may be wondering, "but AlextheAmerican, you had TONS of work to do. Don't you have a presentation to give next week on a book you haven't even read? Don't you need to go to the P section of the library?"
Well late-1630s British intellectual history be damned! Dewey Decimal system memorization be damned!
At the first stop, (by the way, arriving at a bar early, before your friends and all the other people do, assures that you get in fast and that you are DEFINITELY the coolest person who already has tasted the whole specialty drink menu of the evening) I was sitting with a group of people from my department in a corner booth. I was the lucky person who sat with my back to the room while everyone else faced towards me.
So apparently while I was sitting there, one of my friends saw a CELEBRITY*. She was cool enough to ask him to pose in a picture with her. Here's the picture:
Well the bar was really dark and no one has flashes on their cell-phone cameras. You see, I didn't know this happened until the next day, and then I found out that the celebrity* had been standing right behind me! (And also this isn't the actual picture, but according to my friends it looked something like this.)Then we went to drop a from-out-of-town-friend-from-college off at her hotel where we decided to stay and check-out/enhance the scene. WOW! It was like the Hills to the skankth power! It was like Lauren Conrad took all her black dresses, ran over them in an Escalade, barfed on them after eating asphalt, and then these girls at the hotel put them on and wore them out Friday night.
As we waited on the burgers we ordered, I swear I saw this celebrity:
Actually, I only THINK I saw this guy. No one I was with would actually agree with me that it was him. Also, I did not see his pubic hair! (Until I found this photo. And until then, not since Queer as Folk ended and I finished watching it all on demand in that year I pissed away after college.)On the way home, I saw prostitutes. It was like, for guys that are into really tall women with even taller heels, very defined cheek-bones, Adam's apples, and extremely bright, short, tight, boobilicious clothing, Hollywood is the PLACE to be! I saw tons of them. All standing in a group. They must have thought that my designated-driver friend and I might be celebrities because they were all looking intently into our windows as we drove by. Like, "hey! who are YOU guys?" Don't you HATE when that happens? Yeah, me too!
I've never seen such tall, glamoUrous women before!!! I only think they might have been "ladies of the night" because of their fishnet stockings and sexy shoes. But that might JUST be judging them based on appearances. And I'm REALLY against doing that! So maybe they were just hot, tall, well-defined-jawlined-chicks!
*First celebrity that I (didn't actually) see in LA: the guy who plays the large-boned man on the Office. The white large-boned man, not the black one.
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